I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd

I got to see T'Nasha over the Winter Break. It was fun. We only got to see each other for a little bit, and it makes me miss her hardcore now that I don't know when I'll see her again, but I was happy.

I was happy that I could see her and Mark and get to know Mark a bit better and to see how happy she is makes me smile. I can see it in her eyes and I can sense it when she talks about him. She may have broken promises to herself, but I think, in the long run, this time will be better. Or I will have to take action. We don't want that lol

Going out for lunch today with Angela and last week with Mandeep and Steph reminds me that I can relax, enjoy my life and be happy. That it's ok for things to be going well for me. That it's ok that I'm doing fair in school. That it's ok to sing random song lyrics outside in public, causing some people to cross the sidewalk so they don't come near me and make my friend's faces turn red.

I've lived for so long with this burden, this thought that I had to be miserable. That I'm useless etc etc etc. I am not. If I'm miserable, it's because I keep thinking about what makes me unhappy and that NEVER helps. I can be happy. I can live without the fear that I'm going to screw up.

I refuse. I refuse to let these stupid memories and thoughts drag me down.

I'm glad that I have friends who remind me of that.

I need to make a lunch date with Kate. We need to discuss tattoo stuff, she's STILL got a DVD of mine lol AND the fact that I haven't seen her since BEFORE Winter Break. It's madness I tell you.

Mandeep, Kate and I are all graduating this year. We're all going on to bigger and better things, taking that next step to becoming functional adults (am I functional? Would I EVER be functional? I think that would be scary)

Either way, we're moving on and moving out!

Catch you on the flip side.